


The Food Debacle

by Lady_Blade_WarAngel



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, F/M, Family Feels, Food Mix-Ups, Friends to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 11:41:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20545568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Blade_WarAngel/pseuds/Lady_Blade_WarAngel
Summary: This first time it happened, it really was an eccident......Jaime, Brienne, and Jaime's crazy relatives.And the JustEat app... because of course!





	The Food Debacle

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this got written after I saw a prompt on Twitter. It inspired me, so it had to be written. 
> 
> So, for all the ladies at Door Podcast, as well as the ladies on Twitter, thanks so much for inspiring me.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys!

The Food Debacle.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

The first time it happened, it really was an accident.

Jaime had been quickly typing in the address for the Indian take out, as his little brother joked with him. His finger must have hit the wrong address on the drop-down menu, after he’d typed in the post code. Whatever happened, Jaime was very confused when the food didn’t arrive on time. “That food has taken an awfully long time to get here.” Tyrion stated, as Jaime went back into his JustEat app. That was when he realised his mistake. He had dyslexia, but that was nothing to do with numbers. He cursed to himself. “What’s wrong Jaime?” Tyrion asked.

  
“I fucked up the address.” Jaime started. That was when there was a knock on the door.  
“Maybe you didn’t.” Tyrion said. Jaime frowned, as he walked to his front door. When he opened it, there was his next door neighbour, takeout bag in her arms.

“I’m sorry to knock this late, but your food got delivered to me. I’m sure it was an accident. But I thought I should bring it to you.” The woman said. Tall, blonde, broad, with legs for days, an infinite amount of freckles, a nose that appeared to have been broken at least once, if not more, and a pair of over full lips, she was not what most men dreamed of. The one feature that was completely beautiful about her, were her sapphire blue eyes. Jaime was mesmerised by her eyes. He reached out for the bag.

“Thank you. I’m sorry about the mix up.” Jaime said, sincerely.

“That’s okay. It was just a mix up.” The woman said. Jaime knew that his neighbour very likely knew who he was. After all, with the wrong address on the food, how else would she know who to deliver it too? But he still felt the need to introduce himself properly.

“I know you probably already know my name, and that we’re neighbours. But I don’t know your name, and I think I should introduce myself properly at the very least. I’m Jaime Lannister.” Jaime said, holding out a hand. The woman gave a small smile, before taking his hand in her own. It was like electric coursing through his veins.

“I’m Brienne Tarth.” She said. Jaime knew he should let go of her hand now. But as soon as he did, he regretted it. That spark was something Jaime had never felt before.

“Thanks again for bringing the food round.” Jaime said. Brienne gave a smile.

“It’s not a problem. Goodnight Mr Lannister.” Brienne said.

“Jaime.” Jaime heard himself say. Brienne looked at him quizzically. “My name’s Jaime.” Jaime said. Brienne smiled again, her crooked teeth somehow made the gesture endearing to him.

“Goodnight Jaime.” Brienne said. Jaime felt the strangest sense of warmth, settle in his chest and stomach, at hearing her say his name.

“Goodnight Brienne.” Jaime said. He couldn’t help watching her walk away. When he closed the door, he felt the goofiest smile spread across his face. He wasn’t sure why.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

The second time it happened, it was Tyrion’s fault.

“Where’s the pizza?” Jaime said aloud. Not really expecting his brother to answer.

“It should be arriving at Miss Tarth’s house any moment.” Tyrion replied. Jaime scowled at his brother. Since their first meeting, Jaime seemed to see her everywhere. At the coffee place where he got his breakfast. At the park where he went for his daily run. At the school next door to his office building. He knew she wasn’t following him. She always seemed fairly busy. The first couple of weeks, Jaime didn’t speak to her. He wasn’t sure he was supposed to. At the coffee place, he saw her meticulously looking through paperwork. At the park, she was usually running herself, headphones in her ears. At the school… at the school she was teaching. Jaime could tell, as he went down to the second floor of the Lannister Corporation building, where he would hand off numbers, or other data, to the statistics department, and the large windows allowed him a perfect view into her classroom. If he found himself at the second floor, more than usual, he could admit to himself that the view was interesting. But after literally running into her at the coffee place, Jaime knocking her papers everywhere, he had to speak to her, if only to help pick up the mess. Brienne was kind about it. But Jaime felt guilty. It had, however, broken the ice. For the next two weeks, until his monthly movie night with his brother happened, Jaime found himself talking to Brienne every day.

“What did you do?” Jaime asked, feeling irritated. _“I do not want Tyrion meddling in my love life. Wait! “Love life?” Where did that even come from?”_ Jaime thought to himself. He’d barely spoken to the woman. Love was a little extreme.

“I conveniently put your address in wrong again.” Tyrion replied.

“How do you know it was her house, and not one of my other neighbours?” Jaime asked irritably.

“I checked the address on your phone first. The old orders, including the address, get saved.” Tyrion replied. Jaime rolled his eyes. That was when there was a knock on the door. “Well go get it, lover boy!” Tyrion stated. Jaime felt like kicking him, as he walked to the door. When he opened it, there she was, holding a couple of steaming pizza boxes.

“I’m sorry. My brother messed up the address.” Jaime said immediately. Brienne rolled her eyes and handed Jaime the pizzas.

“Good evening Miss Tarth.” Jaime almost facepalmed in horror, when he heard his brother speak.

“Good evening Mr Lannister.” Brienne said. Tyrion grinned.

“It’s lovely to see you again, I’m sure even more so for Jaime.” Tyrion said. Brienne frowned.

“I only saw Jaime this morning. I’m sure he’s not that desperate for my company.” Brienne replied. Tyrion grinned.

“Wonderful. I’ll see you in the living room, big brother.” Tyrion stated. Jaime wanted to kill him.

“Sorry about him. He’s…” Jaime didn’t know what to say. Brienne shrugged.

“It’s okay. He’s fairly tame in comparison to some of the kids I teach.” Brienne replied. Jaime found himself laughing. “See you at the coffee place tomorrow?” Brienne asked. Jaime nodded.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” Jaime said, as he watched her walk away again. He couldn’t help thinking that if Tyrion hadn’t been there, he’d have asked her to stay. He closed the door and walked into the living room. Tyrion had taken a spot on one of the sofas.

“So… you saw her for coffee this morning?” Tyrion asked.

“Oh fuck off, Shortround.” Jaime replied, with all the eloquence he could muster at that point. Tyrion merely laughed. Loudly.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

The third time it happened, it was Cersei’s fault.

Every so often, Cersei joined her brothers for the monthly movie night. This was one of those nights. When she ordered greasy burgers, that only got ordered when she was around, Jaime got up when there was a knock at the door. He was horrified when he opened it, to once again find Brienne outside, bag in hand. Jaime shot a dark look at his twin sister and younger brother, who both looked entirely too pleased with themselves.

“Uh… I’m really sorry Brienne.” Jaime found himself saying. Brienne rolled her eyes.

“One of these days, I’ll just keep the food.” Brienne stated, handing over the bag. Jaime found himself feeling sheepish.

“I wouldn’t blame you.” Jaime said.

“Hello there. I’m sorry, my brother failed to introduce us. I’m his twin sister, Cersei.” Jaime cursed mentally, wishing his sister, twin or not, would keep her nosy arse out of his business. Jaime realised Cersei was holding out a hand, an almost evil look in her eyes. Brienne, being the polite woman that she was, took the offered hand and shook it.

“I’m Brienne Tarth.” Brienne said.

“You seem quite young.” Cersei said. “How old are you? Twenty?” Jaime wanted to wring his sister’s neck.

“Twenty-nine, actually.” Brienne replied.

“Twenty-nine? I’ve seen you before, I’m sure, Miss Tarth?” Cersei questioned. Brienne looked as confused as Jaime felt at that moment.

“Yes? I’m sure you have…” Brienne replied, looking slightly confused.

“I’ve got three kids. Do you have children?” Cersei asked.

_“Clever, nosy, evil, manipulative, evil, nosy bitch.”_ Jaime thought to himself. _“I think I repeated ‘Nosy’ and ‘Evil’ twice.”_ Jaime added mentally. _“She deserves it.”_ He finished his thoughts. He had no idea what Cersei was playing at, apart from seemingly vetting Brienne as a possible future Lannister, and future Lannister making machine. Which really wasn’t surprising to Jaime. Jaime felt extremely uncomfortable at the idea of Cersei, potentially or otherwise, vetting his possible love interests.

“No. I don’t.” Brienne replied, she looked incredulously at Cersei, not seeming sure which way to respond to the nosy prodding.

“Do you want children?” Cersei asked.

“I’m not sure that’s any of your business.” Brienne said. Jaime inwardly cheered. He could have kissed her then. No one had ever said that to Cersei before. Cersei frowned.

“You’re interesting I suppose.” Cersei said.

“You mustn’t get out much if you think I’m interesting.” Brienne replied, a calm look on her face. If Jaime hadn’t known he’d receive a glare from both women, and probably be murdered at the same time, Jaime would’ve cheered.

“I’m sure we’ll meet again Brienne.” Cersei said. Before Brienne could even respond, Cersei spun on her heel and disappeared into the living room, Tyrion standing there, staring. He looked at Brienne.

“Nice to see you again, Brienne. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think I love you. No one has ever dealt with my sister in that way before. Have a good evening.” Tyrion said. Then he too, disappeared into the living room, after Cersei.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way Jaime, but I think your siblings are completely insane.” Brienne said. Jaime laughed.

“They are. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do about them.” Jaime replied. Brienne laughed and shook her head, and shot Jaime a smile, before she turned around and left the porch, and disappeared back to her own home. Jaime closed the door, having watched her walk away, then entered the living room. That was when Cersei pounced.

“She seems interesting.” Cersei stated, a knowing smirk on her face.

“You put in the wrong address on purpose.” Jaime said, scowling. Cersei laughed.

“Of course! Tyrion didn’t give me nearly enough information. I needed to see the newest potential Lannister for myself.” Cersei stated. Jaime shook his head, as Tyrion laughed himself stupid on one of the couches.

“We’ve never even been on a single date. What makes either of you think I’m about to get married?” Jaime questioned irritably.

“Oh dear brother, you have it bad. If you and she aren’t dating before the year is out, I’d be most surprised.” Cersei replied. This made Tyrion laugh harder. Jaime just shook his head and cursed the fact he had siblings who were so inordinately interested in his potential love life, or lack thereof. He vowed not to let his siblings order the food again.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

The fourth time it happened, Jaime cursed his demonic nephews and niece.

But they were Cersei’s children after all.

Jaime cursed Cersei more.

Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen were staying over, as Cersei and her third husband, Euron Greyjoy, were away for a romantic weekend, in Dorne. It was Friday night, and Jaime was stuck with a moody Goth, and a _Twilight_ obsessed teenager. The shock was that Joffrey was the one who was _Twilight_ obsessed. Myrcella had died her hair black, the very day after that family dinner, where Cersei had proclaimed that Myrcella looked so much like her, that she could be her personal little clone. Cersei had been joking (at least Jaime had hoped she was), but Myrcella had promptly decided to cut her hair short and dye it black. The next week, Cersei was still furious with her daughter, and Myrcella had seemed almost smug about it all. Jaime had found the whole incident fairly amusing.

At the moment, the whole trio were driving him insane. Eight-year-old Tommen wanted to watch _Spirited Away_. Fourteen-year-old Myrcella wanted to watch _The Greatest Showman_. Sixteen-year-old Joffrey wanted to watch _Twilight_. If Jaime were honest with himself, he’d rather be marathoning _The Walking Dead_, or _Breaking Bad_. But obviously the kids were not watching either of those. About the only thing they all agreed on, was that Chinese food was the best takeaway ever. So Jaime had let Myrcella have his phone to order the food. It was coming up the time that the food should be delivered, but the kids were still arguing.

“_Twilight_ is the height of romance!” Joffrey yelled.

“Yeah, okay, about as much as Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele are legit.” Myrcella shot back.

“They are a legitimate couple!” Joffrey yelled.

“Of course they are! If Christian Grey weren’t a rich, ripped billionaire, we’d have gotten _Unsane_. Which was a much better movie!” Myrcella yelled back. Tommen looked up at Jaime.

“This is the Zutara/Kataang argument all over again.” Tommen said softly. Joffrey and Myrcella both glared.

“Zutara was meant to be! There’s no argument!” Myrcella exclaimed. Joffrey scowled.

“The show ended with Kataang!” Joffrey yelled.

“Complete fanservice! If you watch The Legend Of Korra, you see that Katara and Aang were not a good couple! Their whole family is a fractured, broken mess!” Myrcella yelled back.

“Why did you even mention that again, Tommen?” Jaime asked his youngest nephew. Tommen looked up at his uncle sadly.

“I didn’t mean to. This could go on all night.” Tommen said.

“Katara and Aang were meant for each other!” Joffrey yelled.

“Zuko and Katara would have been a much better, and more sustainable couple!” Myrcella yelled.

“Whoever wins that couple contest, it would still be a better love story than _Twilight_.” Tommen said.

“Shut up Tommen!” Joffrey yelled. Myrcella grinned.

“You’re officially my favourite brother.” Myrcella said. Tommen laughed. That was when Jaime heard the knock at the door. “Fair warning, Uncle Jaime, that’s your neighbour knocking at the door. Mother and Uncle Tyrion both paid me twenty dragons each to mess up the address on purpose.” Myrcella told her uncle. Jaime wanted to strangle her then.

“Could you not have considered saying no?” Jaime hissed. Myrcella shrugged.

“Free money?” Myrcella questioned.

“You could have lied and said you did it.” Jaime shot back. Myrcella shrugged.

“Too late now.” Myrcella stated. Jaime rolled his eyes as he went to answer the door. Brienne stood in front of his door, head cocked to the side, eyebrow raised, almost as if to say ‘again with the address mess-up?’ and if Brienne had said it, Jaime wouldn’t be able to blame her.

_“My family is so messed up.”_ Jaime thought to himself. “My niece. Sorry.” Jaime said. Brienne shrugged.

“I’m getting used to it.” Brienne said. That was when Tommen appeared.

“Hi!” He exclaimed, an innocent look on his face.

“Hi there.” Brienne replied. Tommen smiled.

“My brother and sister are arguing about _Avatar The Last Airbender_, and the legitimacy of _Twilight_ and _Fifty Shades of Grey_ as romance movies. So I put on _Spirited Away_. Do you want to watch it with us?” Tommen asked. Both Jaime and Brienne gave Tommen confused looks. Tommen just grabbed hold of Brienne’s hand and tugged her along with him.

Later that evening, after the kids were in bed, having watched the movies the kids had wanted to watch. _Twilight_ had almost caused World War Three, as Myrcella kept up a running commentary about all the plot holes she could find. Jaime and Brienne were alone, an episode of _The Walking Dead_ on the television, Jaime couldn’t help thinking this was one of the best nights he’d actually had. Despite his insane Niece and Nephews. He thought it might be nice to have Brienne around… without the kids.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

The fifth time it happened, Jaime did it on purpose.

He wanted to just spend an evening with Brienne. But he was too chicken to actually ask her on a date. It was ridiculous. He was Jaime Lannister! It should not have been this hard! Women through themselves at his feet on a fairly regular basis. That very morning, one of the new secretaries had conveniently fainted beside him in the lift, on his way out of the building to grab lunch. Of course, he knew the girl was faking. It didn’t help that the whole act was irritating. “But that’s what makes Brienne special.” Jaime thought to himself. Brienne didn’t try to get his attention. Brienne was just…… Brienne. For Jaime, that was amazing. It was refreshing! Jaime smiled to himself as he heard the knock at the door. He got up and went to answer it, Brienne standing outside.

“Again? Really?” Brienne questioned, an eyebrow raised. Jaime smiled. “Was it the dog? The cat? Is there another sibling of yours hiding in there?” Brienne asked, an amused look on her face. Jaime’s smile became wider.

“Actually, I did it on purpose this time.” Jaime stated. Brienne frowned.

“Why?” She asked, looking incredulous.

“Because I’ve been wanting to ask you on a date for ages. I just… never got the courage to ask you.” Jaime said. Brienne just seemed even more confused.

“But… why?” Brienne asked.

“Why what?” Jaime shot back.

“Why would you… why would you want to date me?” Brienne asked.

“Because you’re amazing.” Jaime replied.

“But… I’m ugly.” Brienne said. No sadness, just a matter of fact tone of voice. This was something Brienne accepted as fact. It made Jaime almost sad, that she didn’t see herself the same way he saw her.

“Not to me. To me, you’re Brienne. That’s everything.” Jaime replied. Brienne blushed, her face going crimson, and her eyes wide with shock. “I’d very much like you to join me, eating all this Chinese food that you told my nephew you love, and watch a movie, or some more _Walking Dead_, or… whatever the hell you’d like to do.” Jaime said. Brienne looked at Jaime quizzically for a moment. Then she smiled.

“I suppose we can try this and see where it goes.” Brienne said gently. Jaime grabbed one of her hands with his own, and pulled her towards him. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips, just a quick peck, then he smiled. “Isn’t a kiss supposed to happen at the end of the evening?” Brienne asked. Jaime shook his head.

“A kiss is whenever you want one. There shouldn’t be limitations on something so magical.” Jaime said softly. Brienne smiled.

“Don’t let Joffrey hear you talking like that. He’ll be trying to get you watching _Twilight_ in his spare time.” Brienne said. Jaime laughed.

“Once was more than enough for one lifetime.” Jaime stated. “Now, Brienne, come inside. Let’s see how this goes.” Jaime added. Brienne smiled as Jaime yanked her over the threshold, closing the door behind them.

Years later, when Jaime and Brienne were married, with a gaggle of children, Jaime would always think back to that first messed up JustEat order, that had brought Brienne into his life, and the subsequent meddling from his siblings. He’d decided a long time ago, that he completely forgave them. After all, where would he be, without the whole Food Debacle, without Brienne, the love of his life? Jaime didn’t know, and he didn’t want to know.

So, the first time was an accident. But everything else was just destiny. That was the way Jaime looked at it anyways. That food mix up, was the best thing that ever happened in his life. No one would ever convince him otherwise.

**Author's Note:**

> Well... if you made it to the end, congratulations. I hope you enjoyed it, and please feel free to comment or leave Kudos.It would very much appreciated.


End file.
